Spending time away from Los Angeles is always weird for me. Every time I go away for a little while, people seem to have assumed I quit comedy *Footnote. if I ever quit comedy it will be in a glorious suicide/bit I have worked out for onstage*End Footnote. The reality is I'm only away to do comedy related things and this time it brought me to lovable, huggable Austin Texas to perform at SXSW. The trip became even longer due to unforseen circumstances but I was able to grab some great stage time out there. LA really makes you forget that there are audiences in other parts of america that would gladly pay money, and a two drink minimum and pack a full room for just an OPEN MIC. Every set out there was so much fun, it only made  the knowledge of my return flight that much more cruel, like flirting with a eunuch. The weird thing about Austin is the ever-present hatred of hipsters by hipsters themselves. Do you buy your clothes at Target? No? Then most of middle america would view you as a hipster. Do you hate Coldplay? Yes? Then most of middle america would view you as a hipster. Festivals are always weird for me, the shows are always great but I hate the social politics of dealing with more established comedians. I would never name names but it seems to be a running theme at festivals that I feel like a piece of shit at the end. My friend Bryson Turner and I decided at the end of this whole festival that if we had just devoted our nights to having fun with each other and not worrying about impressing more established comics with our sets, we would have kept our sanity easier. I guess I understand, I probably am curt with an extra new comic every now and then, and I figure it's just a progressing line; with experience you feel less associated with the younger age group. And that would be why Bill Cosby has the right to be a dick to everyone, but especially Rudy. Still, a little kindness would have gone a long way, like how I'm treated at my local Target when I'm buying my new Coldplay CD. I hope I can take my experiences, learn from them, and try and put myself in other people's shoes. Also, I should say, before I left Austin I got to see another comedian friend of mine, Nick Mullen. He may be the most nonchalantly funny person I know. It seems like DC had this amazing influx of comedians when I was there, and it's so weird that we all live in different cities now. I used to think they were all way funnier and better people, and that perception hasn't changed. 

Hampton Yount at Comedy Death Ray from Hampton Yount on Vimeo.

I wrote this a while ago. 

"The best sequel of all time?

. . .World War II

They should officially call if World War II: The Empire Strikes Back. It's amazing because the hero from the original, America, is back. But this time at the beginning of the story the hero fails to act and because of this the girl, France, gets hurt. Inner turmoil is created! The essence of any great movie. THEN, two large explosions at the end and a concise ending. Or so we think! we see a conversation between two military generals about how Hitler's body is never found...

CUT TO

A distinctly german hand breaks through a mound of rubble into the darkening sky.

Roll credits.

And now it's hard to get excited about any wars after that. The plots are all vague and I can only liken them to Indie movies. Only rich white people seem to get it. I'm really just hoping they complete the trilogy. And this new war started out with that same sort of grandiosity of the first two world wars.  It was going to be good versus evil and the budget on this thing was through the roof. Trillions? Seriously? I imagine they definitely got Lucasarts to do some major work. I don't know about you folks but I am super psyched about World War 3: Tokyo Drift. How can it fail?

I think that's the thing this war. We topped ourselves with the Nazis. We will never find another villain to top them. I mean the Nazis inspired the Stormtroopers creation. Do you get what I mean? They were so evil they inspired other evil. We might as well have fought Skeletons and Ghosts. The only way we could get a war everyone could rally around is if we just declared war on things nobody likes. Like sharks. It's bulletproof. No one would be able to even protest it, get some pissy hippy with a sign shouting "No blood for Sharks!" and he'd basically be making our point. If only we could get the terrorists to wear uniforms this would be such an easier war to sell.

Side note: Whenever I see a picket sign with "No Blood for Oil!" I can't help but wonder what is the blood to oil conversion rate? I mean, how much oil do we get for how much blood? Let's not jump the gun here college kids, this might be a deal.

I think it boils down to this is a war of vague ideals. Sorry, I meant money. But for the purposes of debate let's pretend it's really about ideals. And I didn't mean anything negative about that anyway, it's a LOT of money, so it's cool. AND vague ideals are what make for great action movies! No one wants to think about how Emporer Palpatine's system of government ran differently than the newly imposed Republic. Star Wars was about bad guys in helmets fighting beautiful models with fire swords. This war stopped being fun entertainment when it stopped being vague. Now it's arthouse, and only rich white people get arthouse."

Hello and welcome! If you were looking for the website of comedian Hampton Yount, you are in the right place. If you are looking for the photography collection of Ansel Adams, that is not this place. Either way stick around and I will be posting as irregularly as possible. By that I mean in frequency but also in design. So, be on the lookout for huge letters followed and punctuation marks that have no business even being the:re.